O'Malley Family Owen's Blog

O'MALLEY FAMILY Baltimore, Maryland

Owen's Memories of the Night His Father Died

At the time I was a freshman at Oklahoma State University. I had just finished my finals and headed home for the Christmas holidays. When I pulled up to my house...my dad, mom and two older brothers were leaving to go watch my younger brother's basketball game. My two younger sisters were staying home...so I went in to say hello...threw my bags of dirty laundry in the utility room and jumped in the car to go watch the game.

My little brother was playing guard for his middle school basketball team. The game was pretty close at half-time. I looked over and noticed that my dad seemed to be agitated. He said that all the noise was bothering him. He said that he wanted to walk out to get some air. As he stood up he lost his balance. I was standing next to him so I reached over to support him along with one of my other brothers to help him walk out. He felt so weak.

We only made it to the front door before we had to lay him down and called for an ambulance. He was still conscious but he had a far away look in his eye. The ambulance took him and my mom to the hospital and I drove with my brothers.

My little brother never saw what was happening and continued to play the game. He went on to score the winning basket for his team at the buzzer. After the game he went to look for his family but we weren't there. Another one of the dads took him aside and told him that they had to take his dad to the hospital.

We left the hospital later in the evening when the doctors told my mom that there was nothing we could do...that my dad had a mild heart attack and he was resting comfortably.

I went home and went to bed. In the middle of the night my older brother woke me to tell me that my dad had another heart attack through the night and...died.

I felt cheated...I could not understand why this had to happen to me at this point in my life. I felt like I never got the chance to know my dad...we never had any heart to heart conversations. We mostly talked about sports. I do remember one conversation we had...when I was trying to decide on my major in college. He asked me what I was good at...I told him math. He said "why not major in Math...when you tell someone that you majored in math...they will think you are smart." I got a math degree.

My dad was only 54 and the father of six kids. My oldest brother was 22, the next one was 21, I was 18, my sister was 16, my little brother was 13 and my baby sister was 9. My mom was now a widow at the age of 44. At the time I thought that seemed pretty old...it wasn't until my 44th birthday that I realized how young 44 is. My dad's parents both died during the same year when he was 21. He was the oldest of nine kids and they all decided to stay together with the help from one of their uncles. My dad became the "dad" to his eight brothers and sisters...he went to work full time to support them.

My dad was a hero to a lot of people. I was amazed at how many people were at his funeral. We were living in Tulsa, Oklahoma when he died but his funeral was held in our hometown of Baltimore, Maryland. He was working for Citgo Oil Company at the time and our family flew back to Baltimore in Citgo's corporate jet.

The funeral was held at St. Anthony's of Padua church in Baltimore. My most vivid memory of the day was the long line of cars that seemed to stretch for miles as we left the church to drive to the cemetery. To this day...I wonder how many people will be at my funeral and I always get a tear in my eye whenever there is a father/son storyline in a tv show or movie.

As I reflect upon this thirty-four years later...I only wish that my dad had the chance to meet my son...and share the moment when he hit a homerun in one of his baseball games. I feel bad that my dad only got to watch me...strike out.